YOU ARE NOT AN ISLAND

There was a time I thought I had it all figured out. I knew what pain was. I knew what depression felt like. I had danced in the dark halls of postpartum sorrow and crawled through the broken glass of heartbreak. I had hit rock bottom—and not as long ago as I sometimes convince myself.

Somewhere along the line, I started pulling away. From people. From places. From the world that kept spinning while I stood still. I convinced myself that solitude was healing. That silence was safety. That if I avoided triggers, I’d avoid pain. I thought I was protecting myself, but I was really building a fortress. One so fortified that no one could get in… and eventually, not even I could get out.

In that stillness, I found temporary peace, but it came at a cost: joy. Connection. Laughter. Intimacy. I missed the moments of freedom I once had—spontaneous outings, deep belly laughs with friends, the simple pleasure of shared presence. But I was too afraid to let the world back in. So I locked it out......

And I locked myself in.

I had become my own prisoner, mistaking walls for boundaries. Thinking I had healed, when I had only hidden. And the loneliness that followed was more painful than any betrayal I’d ever faced. It wasn’t just quiet—it was hollow. Deafening.

That’s when the truth came crashing in: what I needed wasn’t isolation. It was balance.

Balance to protect my energy without shutting everyone out. Balance to know that vulnerability isn’t weakness, but a requirement for meaningful connection. Balance to hold space for both discernment and openness.

I needed discernment to read the signs—not through paranoia, but through intuition sharpened by experience. To see red flags for what they are, and not color them with hope. To recognize jealousy, shade, or hidden envy behind a smile—and not gaslight myself into dismissing my gut. But also, discernment to see truth and love when they are present, and not push them away out of fear.

I needed courage to try again. To reach out. To show up. To make room for the possibility that this time, it could be different.

And above all, I needed trust—not just in others, but in myself. Trust to make better choices. Trust to walk away when necessary. Trust to forgive myself for the times I got it wrong. To stop holding myself hostage for past mistakes and open my hands to receive what’s waiting on the other side of fear.

A cousin reached out to me on my birthday this year.
It caught me by surprise—but the good kind. You see, it had become a kind of tradition between us: celebrating each other’s birthdays by picking a place, setting the time, and showing up just for one another. No big crowd, no fuss—just the two of us, breathing in each other’s energy and making memories over good food, laughter, and easy conversation.

But then life happened. We both got swept up in our own little worlds, juggling responsibilities, emotions, and moments that seemed too heavy or too fast to pause. We drifted—not out of anger, but out of life’s natural tide. And still, when she reached out, it felt like no time had passed.

We made plans to meet up this past Sunday. We chose the location, picked a time, and that was it. We were off-And it was amazing.
Just two girls reconnecting—chatting, shopping a little (as girls do), catching up on all the things we missed over the years. And trust me, there were many things we didn’t get to cover. But I’m not about to go into every single detail (because that’s my business, lol).

Fast-forward to the end of the day, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a while: a profound sense of relief and connection. Like a deep breath after holding it in for too long.

I realized—I’m truly not in this world on my own, no matter how much I sometimes convince myself otherwise. And all it took was one small step.
One moment of saying yes.
One deep breath.

Most times, the negativity we believe exists around us… is actually within us. It’s in the limits we place on ourselves, the fears we let fester in silence, the self-protection that starts to look like self-sabotage. But when you step out—when you allow light back in—you begin to see clearly.

The world that exists inside of us and the world outside of us are very different.

The mind- as simple as it seems, has the power to become our own prison.

As one famous writer once said:

"We see the world , not as it is but as we are."-Anais Nin

You are just a drop in a vast ocean. And all you need to do… is keep swimming.

So I’ll leave you with this:

I am not an island.

You are not an island.

You are not alone.

Get out there!
Spend time with a loved one.
Recognize that you are loved, you are appreciated.

I’ve said all this to say:

No matter how fiercely we protect our peace, we were never meant to do life alone. Healing isn't found in walls, it's found in boundaries. Growth isn’t achieved in silence alone, but in the right conversations, with the right people, at the right time. If you've built a fortress, I understand. I’ve been there. But please, don’t forget the exit. Don’t forget to let the sun in.

Let’s be brave enough to connect again.

With love... Samantha Stiell

The Savvy Samster❣️